Mon. Mar 4th, 2024

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Album Review: Nicole Scherzinger – Big Fat Lie

3 min read

Never in my life have I been accused of not having enough to say. If you know me, I’m a talker. If you don’t, there are more than enough people I’m sure would be happy to tell you that more often then not, I need to shut the eff up. I’ve never had trouble telling it like it is. Until now. My worlds are colliding in the tiny space that is this album review because while I want to be honest, I was also brought up to believe “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” So sorry Mum, I’m about to serve up some honest words that aren’t so nice.

Nicole Scherzinger Big Fat LieI love pop music. At the age of 27 I went to the NKOTBSB (that’s New Kids On The Block / Backstreet Boys, like you didn’t know) concert and loved it. Last week, I was near front row at Miley Cyrus’ Bangers Tour. The actual highlight of my life so far is that Britney Spears follows me on Twitter.

I like The Pussycat Dolls. I like Nicole Scherzinger. But this album, Big Fat Lie is a Big Fat No.

I was rooting for Nicole. No one can deny her unbelievable talent and potential. Not only is she one of the sexiest women on the planet, but the girl can really sing! So why couldn’t I find anything to connect to with Big Fat Lie? What am I missing? Let’s break it down into a few categories I often look at when reviewing an album.

Overall vibe? Aggressive. While spreading her pop wings into the R’n’B air, Scherzy has aimed for edgy but is instead just, pretty awful.

Vocals? This woman can sing anything. Which is why this is so disappointing. Overly produced and auto tuned, from the stunted, breathy work on Electric Blue to sounding like a little girl on Little Boy, Nicole is almost unrecognisable from the strong, talented woman we saw belting out PCD hits I Don’t Need A Man or Hate This Part. She has mentioned being inspired by Janet Jackson on this album, but rather than be inspired by her it seems Nicole tried to mimic her. And it’s such a waste.

Lyrical content? Title track Big Fat Lie gives me my best example here. From the opening beat I thought this one might be my little ray of hope, until Nicole rhymes “father-figure” with “father-figure”. Not to mention this little gem: I ain’t never had my heart broken / When I see that I should start choking / I’m never alone I’m so famous / But still I’m prescribed pills to make it painless.

Potential Singles? Your Love sounds like a wanna-be J-Lo track, and from J-Lo’s singing ability I’ve always found her an excellent dancer. Heartbreaker and First Time land somewhere in the realm of a Ciara or Maya tune, and lets be honest not even Ciara and Maya are doing a great job of being Ciara and Maya these days. With people like Beyonce, Ariana Grande and Emeli Sande storming the charts, these tracks just won’t hold up. Run is perhaps the only track I could learn to love, with a pretty melody showing off Nicole’s vocals far better than the other tracks. On it’s own a nice, sad ballad, but lost a little on the mess of this album.

And finally, production? From The Dream, the man that wanted Kim Kardashian to be a singer. I rest my sad, disappointed case.